Something's Fishy!!

I have been away from Birmingham for a few days because my little brother and sister are visiting from America and I took them to Germany, Luxembourg and France.

I was planning to write about that tonight until one of the weirdest things to ever happen to me occurred today.

First off I must tell you that I have been borrowing a friends car for a month or so while I have been trying to get finance for a new car. It is a decent beater that gets us from A to B and helps me to stay true my American heritage and remain free from utilizing public transport.

So last night my wife picked the 3 of us up from Birmingham airport and when I kicked her out of the driver's seat I smelled a faint odor. Or at least I think I did. I didn't pay much attention to it as it was that faint. Maybe my wife had a tuna fish sandwich before she picked us up.

So today I had an appointment at Barclays in Small Heath and when my brother, sister and I got in the car I smelled a stronger smell of fish but thought that maybe it was the surrounding area. We drove over to Barclays and they stayed in the car while I was jerked around in Barclays. When I came back outside and opened the driver's side door the smell overpowered me. It smelled worse than 8 cans of shark shit.

I quickly came to the conclusion that there was some dead animal inside the car or in the engine bay. It smelled like fish but it had to be a rat because there are some serious sized rats around here and I am no where near any water.

So we pop the hood and find this...




Yes, indeed that is a 10" gutted silver fish sitting on the manifold of a Vauxhall.

I have no idea how it got there. I called up the guy I am borrowing the car from and he confirmed that I have the only key to the car. There is no spare key. So just how this now half cooked fish got there will be a mystery that is probably never solved.

Feeling the 'Crunch'

A week ago or so I wrote how I tried to do my part for the UK economy and get myself a new Land Rover but was rebuffed at every turn.

So I was forced to 'settle' for helping France or Germany's economies as Mercedes, Volkswagen and Citroen treated me the way that I have come to expect them to. That being salesmen trying to sell me a car. Land Rover seem to think that cars are meant to sit in showrooms and seaports or something.


So after agreeing to prices and options the next step is for the dealership to acquire finance on our behalf. Less than 2 years ago when we bought our last new car the 0% finance was approved over the phone at the dealership in about 15 minutes but of course we are in a severe recession and banks are tighter with credit than a frog's butt underwater even though governments are trying to create circumstances and incentives for them not to be like that.

But it seems they can't help themselves.

Even though my wife has a long and perfect credit history and I have a short and perfect one we were still turned down at every dealership we went to. We are utterly amazed. Even the car manufacturer that we bought a new car from in 2007 and paid on time every month for 17 months before paying off the total sum turned us down... WTF!!

So, I made an appointment with a manager of the dealership that we had bought a car from before and explained to him the situation. He is currently trying speaking with the higher ups at the finance company trying to get this sorted.

I sort of feel bad for the dealerships all around the country. I saw in the news a few days ago that new car sales in February were down almost 22% from February 2008. And that in late January it was reported that 300,000 people were turned down for car loans in the UK for a 6 month period in late 2008.

So there are a whole bunch of us out here looking to spend our money but not able to because the banks and finance companies want to hoard their cash and not loan it out. Hence putting pressure on the car manufactures who are begging governments around the world for tax-payers money...


What can be done to get the bankers to stop being afraid like George Bush at an Iraqi shoe factory?

Can't get over Land Rover!

I have a good friend here in Birmingham who works as an engineer for Jaguar/Land Rover and he says that it is very likely that he will be one of the 3000 people working for them to get the axe here in the UK. When he told me this a week or so ago I was absolutely dumbfounded.

Admittedly Jaguars and Land Rovers are not 'popular' cars in a world gone 'eco' nuts but they are British cars (Or at least they used to be.) and support the economy of this country. As someone who does not believe that human beings are to blame for the so called 'global warming' (Or is it climate change now, Al Bore?) not to mention needing a 7-seater vehicle I am in the market for a Land Rover Discovery 3.

I have looked at other vehicles such as the Mercedes R320, the Volkswagen Touran and the Citroen C4 Grand Picasso but would have loved to get the Discovery 3.

So, I looked online and found 3 Land Rover dealers in my area and took a ride to the closest one to take a test-drive and get some literature on the truck. Upon arriving to the dealership I walked inside and started to look around at all the different vehicles available including the 2 different versions of the Discovery 3. After a few minutes I was asked by some woman if I had been helped yet to which I informed her that I had not been.


She told me that she would get someone right out to help me as I looked at the interior of one of the Discovery models.

A minute or so later a man walks out and asks me some general questions as to what I am looking for. He then asked me a few questions that I have never been asked before at a dealership in the UK or any other country for that matter.

"Are you a resident of the country?"

"Do you have a full UK driving licence?"

"What kind of car are you driving now?"

It seemed to me that he was trying to get rid of me so that he could go back and sit in his office before going home in 50 minutes when the clock struck 6PM. Once he realized that I was not here to waste his time he sat me down and took some information from me to get a price for the truck.

After leaving me outside on the sales floor for about 20 minutes he comes out and shows me what he can offer me the truck for. I told him that was all very well but when was I going to be able to take the truck for a spin?

He looks at his watch. It is now approaching 5.35PM. He says to me well we don't actually have a manual for you to test-drive. There are only a few automatics. To his frustration I told him that that was not a problem.


He went to get the dealer plates and make a photocopy of my licence and then took me to the back of the dealership where the trucks were parked.

"Oops. I grabbed the wrong keys." By the time he comes back it is slightly past 5.40PM and we get into the truck. I pull out and test-drive the very comfortable and sturdy Discovery 3 for only about 10 minutes as the dealership is beginning to shutdown.

I park the truck back in its place and we sat there having some small chat about how I liked it.

He then gives me his card and we part ways.

As I did not like the way the salesman had treated me I had no intention of returning to give him my business. But I had taken my literature, received a quote and test drove the vehicle.

The next day I called the other 2 Land Rover dealers in the area and spoke with some salesmen and told them what I was looking for. I was told by each dealership that they would look up some numbers and get back to me.

To this day both of them have not. I even called them both back a week later and told the receptionist that I had already called and given my information to a salesman but had not had a call back.

I tried to give my money to Land Rover and they didn't seem to want it. And that is a shame because my friend and many others may lose their jobs because this company doesn't have enough cash-flow. I am not silly enough to think that I would save a few jobs at Land Rover/Jaguar if I had bought a Discovery 3 but the troubling part is that if this has happened to me I am sure it has happened to others too.

Oh, well. I really don't mind a German car I guess...